Misadventures

Karma bitchLately, my life has been one laughable moment after another. Nothing bad, per se except that I have unintentionally made people laugh at stupid stuff I’ve done or have had happened to me.

It all kind of started a few of weeks ago when I was at the gym running one night. I know some people are “surprised” I was at the gym, but I kind of “live” there so whatever. Anyway, this particular night, I wore some grey pants to run in. That was a mistake because about 2/3 of the way through my run, I looked down to see that I was sweating so much that it appeared that I had peed my pants. Had I been wearing black pants to run in, this would not have been a problem.

ANYWAY, when you are at the gym as often as I am, you will start to see the same people around the same time. Lately, I’ve noticed this rather attractive guy there. And he sometimes makes me “Edith googly-eyed” if I see him and he smiles and says hello. (I’M HUMAN OK!) This particular night, when I got to the gym, I didn’t see him so all was well in my world because there was no thinking, do I look unbelievably awful right now?

There was also another woman there working out. There are usually other women there working out. And generally I don’t pay attention to them. I don’t pay attention to anyone because I am in my little world worried about what I am doing. Unfortunately, this night, I was drawn to this woman because she was running on a treadmill not too far from me. When I saw her run, all I could think was “geez, she must be in pain.” And then, “please stop so I don’t have to see you”! See, she was doing her best “Baywatch” bodyguard beach running impression and she was wearing a sports bra that is clearly not designed for a woman who has a little bit up top.

Being who I am, I immediately took to twitter to talk smack about how she needed a better sports bra if she was going to run, etc. I was also entertained at how she would run for about 20-30 seconds and then stop to adjust her bra so she could keep running. She did this for about five minutes before seeming to give up. Every time she was running, I just wanted to get away, but I couldn’t because I could see it out of the corner of my eye.

Finally, she left and I ran my last bit. Satisfied I started to leave and thought, no problem that I look like I peed my pants because cute guy is not here! I mean, who doesn’t look exceptionally hot after running for 45 minutes at a good clip while you appear to have peed your pants? Except as I got to the stairs to head to the locker to get my things, BOOM, there he was on the other side of the staircase and I have no doubt he saw me looking incredibly “HOT” right then with wet pants. It must have been karma for me talking smack about the girl doing her Baywatch impersonation running.

This whole incident led me to writing a status about it on Facebook and people then commenting and laughing about my fortunate gym visit. The only options were that 1) he saw me and just thought “ok then,” or 2) he didn’t see. If it was the latter, as odd as it sounds, that saddens me because it means he doesn’t know I exist. Which is a problem when you have zero reason to talk to someone you find attractive even though you would love to sit and spend hours discussing workouts. Spending hours discussing workouts? Weird I suppose, except that is something I could do with the right person. Besides, maybe he would be interested in hearing about my running. I could always use another person to talk running with.

After the “peeing my pants” incident then things just got weird. A couple weeks after that incident, I lost my ID, ATM Card, transit card and a few other cards I use for getting rewards for “free” meals. That loss happened because I was trying to not be rude when I ran into someone at my weekly training run. I had my headphones on and while they are the type that allow for ambient sounds to be heard, I took them off and put my phone away so as not to seem rude.

That was probably a mistake because in the process, I somehow managed to make all those items fall out of my pocket. The run that day was fine, but as I was going to get on train to go home, I realized I had lost this stuff. That meant walking home. Fun times when you had already run eight miles before. Normally, it would not have been a big deal except because it took me nearly an hour to get home, I was running extremely late to get to work that day.

As I got my crap together to get to work, who do I run into on train platform that day but the attractive guy! Timing couldn’t be worse as I am now convinced he probably thinks I am stalking him. I only think that because when I saw him and he saw me on the platform, he kind of gave me this look like “seriously, I’m seeing you here?!?!?!?!” Needless to say after that, I was even angrier that I had lost my stuff and was late to work. Oh and I looked kind of bad since I was just going to work and didn’t care that I wasn’t looking very cute. Not exactly how you want to appear to someone you would like to chat with more.

Of course in relaying this incident to friends, they feel bad for the lost ID stuff give the hassle of replacing it, but of course think it totally funny because why shouldn’t I run into that guy then? The bad thing of course is that I sort of want to avoid going to the gym now so as not to seem like a stalker, but I can’t do that. I like going to my gym as much as I do. I could try to avoid going when he might be there, but that is just too much work.

I’m sure there have been other incidents, but those two of late have stuck out. Fortunately, the weather has been nicer so I have an excuse to run outside and not necessarily be at the gym. Hopefully he doesn’t think I am stalking him and maybe, just maybe one day we will actually have a conversation beyond the polite hello and smile.

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