Don’t Tell me to Smile

You should smile. You would look so much better if you smiled. How come whenever I see you, you are never smiling? You should smile more.

That is stuff that I would hear regularly from a used to be “friend.” And quite honestly, it pissed me off to no end. Enough so that I can say good riddance to that person being in my life. At times, I think I suffer from resting bitch face. And even if I don’t, I feel how I feel and don’t feel a need to put on a facade to please someone who can’t handle others not being bubbly and smiling 24/ 7. 

Others have written about it, but today, here is my take. Please don’t tell me to smile. Don’t tell little girls or other women to smile when you see them. You may think you are being “nice” and “polite” but really you’re being insulting. How you ask? Well, think about how you’d feel when you get told to smile when you don’t feel like it?

Not pleasant is it? In fact, you’re probably annoyed by it. Yet, you take it upon yourself to tell others to do that. Sorry to break it to you, but you telling me such things is really infuriating. So infuriating that it makes me want to work very hard to not smile if I am around you. Even if I am experiencing the most amazing things and am happy about them, I’d rather have a scowl on my face because I know you will make some snarky comment about how I’d look better if I smiled or that I should have a smile on my face.

Of course, there is a greater implication of this all in that it is primarily women who get told to smile and that they would look prettier with a smile on their faces. Because society thinks that women should always be pleasant and pleasing to others. If you are walking around not smiling, well how can you possibly fulfill these expectations. And no, this is not what people in polite society do. Or at least I don’t think that women should run around with smiles plastered on our faces just to please others.

So, the next time you see me and my resting bitch face, please don’t tell me to smile. That is just something that will make you feel better. Because I more than likely will take it as an insult and see it as your inability to handle real emotions of others.


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