My relationship with food is messed up. Due to years of forever trying to get to that “magic” number on the scale, I’ve been “brainwashed” in counting calories. Sadly, this has resulted in just a mess right now.

A few years ago, I saw a nutritionist and started to get myself straightened out on the food thing. I was definitely eating better thanks to seeing that nutritionist and it helped tremendously. I wasn’t eating terribly at the time, but I could definitely improve what I was doing. One thing that did come up though was that I just don’t eat enough.

When I first started out, I just couldn’t eat enough. Not because I was so active that I couldn’t keep up with my needs. No, my problem was and continues to this day to be that I can’t eat enough because 1) it’s a chore to eat 2) my working out suppresses my appetite so I don’t feel like eating and 3) when I do eat, I get full pretty quickly.

Lately, this has been coming up again with my trainer because my teaching load has increased a slight bit (ok, some weeks a LOT) and I really need to eat so that I have enough energy to teach classes and oh, just function in life. One night after a training session, I had planned to stay and take a class, but since I had not eaten enough food that day, I was forced to go home by my trainer and EAT.

Last week it came up yet again as I was discussing my “vat” of chocolate pudding that I made – completely guilt-free by the way made with only six ingredients. As a result of that, I am now going to experiment with food this week. My trainer told me about this food service that makes meals that consist of lots of “super foods” and are super healthy. So healthy that I will stop counting calories and have plenty of energy to do all that I need to do during the week in teaching my classes as well as finding time to get in my own workouts.

After checking out the service and seeing that they do indeed have options for the lactose intolerant vegetarian, I spent the money to get a week’s worth of food delivered to me. My challenge will be to EAT IT ALL. Because if I don’t, they I will end up having to throw the food away because it will go bad. And as much as I am ok doing that at times, knowing that I spend that much money on it might kill me a little inside.

Hopefully it goes well and gives me ideas on how to make some stuff for myself so I am spending less but still learning how to eat again. Wish me luck!