If you’ve read any past posts on here, you know I spend a lot of my time at the gym working out. So it should come as no surprise that last week I was at the gym and had a most interesting conversation.
That conversation involved of all things relationships. Or more importantly, starting them. It all began when I was talking to another member about how he doesn’t show up for a particular class on Thursday mornings with one of his favorite instructors and attending law school.
Eventually this led to guessing how old I am and conversation about how blondes and gingers are not my type, but brunettes are just so good. Oddly, the guy is just the opposite and he can’t stand brunettes, but loves him some blondes and gingers.
As tends to happen when I get into these types of conversations, it eventually led to who is and isn’t attractive at the gym and who I would love to talk to. As usual, he was more than willing to intervene on my behalf (because a lot of people are willing to do so) and do something about my inability to open my mouth at times.
I know many of my friends find that odd, but in actuality, I am pretty shy when it comes to matters of the heart. So many assume that I am super confident and can talk to anyone. But in reality, I am quite reserved with people in general. When I get to talking to others, it is I usually because the other person has approached me first. I am so reserved that at times I come across as the most bitchy and aloof person ever. Not exactly someone you’d want to talk to or get to know.
So I have been working on this. Instead of wearing my headphones all the time, I won’t put them on until I am on the treadmill ready to run. When I finish, I take them out. All in an effort to show I am approachable. This was working for a while, until the day I was feeling ill and one contact lens was in backwards. Thanks to that combo, I appeared to have a mean look on my face and a “don’t talk to me” attitude one day. Not exactly what I want to portray, but it happens.
Any strides that were made were lost in a moment. And now, I get to think of how each day “[I’m] not getting any younger” while I wish I could just walk up to people I find interesting and fascinating and strike up a conversation. According to the fellow gym member, my inability to do this is related to me not being popular. I’m sure that sounds crazy, but I don’t dismiss it because I have never been popular and thus felt I’ve always been stuck in the shadows of everything that goes on. Plus, when you are feeling as though you’re a nuisance to others, it is hard to be a bit more extroverted when you’re naturally introverted.
It happens. Of course, it does all lead to a million more questions at times for me about myself. Fortunately, I’ve been able to take a few risks this year and do some things that are not my norm in hopes of one day doing things with no cares in the world to what others think.